Over the holidays, my beautiful eleven year old collie had to be put to sleep after she suffered a quick and debilitating illness.  All of us, my ex-husband, my daughter, son and my son’s girlfriend wept in the veterinarian’s office before the shot was administered.  We loved Jessie well and she loved us even better.  She was an amazing dog and our hearts are still breaking from her loss.

Soon after, my son left to go back to his military unit after his holiday furlough, my son-in-law left to go back to his military unit as well, the Christmas decorations where put away, the holidays were over, my daughter was busy with school and my house was empty and echoing.  Even though Jessie had been an older dog, she still met me in the driveway every day and slept with me every night.  My life wasn’t the same without her. 

A brilliant idea came to me to get a new puppy to help fill the empty spaces.  I looked at the local animal shelter on line and while the dogs were wonderful, none spoke to me to come and pick them up.  I went online to another site and a dog needed a new home because it was really shy and needed one-on-one love.  Perfect for me!  When I called, the dog had already been placed, but the breeder had one puppy left from a litter.  Did I want one?  Heck yes, I did.  So, Bella, a golden retriever/standard poodle mix – a goldendoodle - became part of my household.  And, at nine weeks old she is already running the joint.  We found each other and we fell in love.  I still miss my old girl Jessie terribly, but Bella has found a new place in my heart.

The capacity to lose someone or something you love and then be able to find and love someone or something completely different is a wonderful gift we human beings have. Our hearts can be broken and yet still make room for even more love.  This made me think of my divorce which was definitely something lost. Yet, my ex-husband and I were able to forge a new friendship from the ashes of the divorce.  It is something wonderfully found.  It’s not a replacement or an upgrade like an appliance; it’s grieving what once was and moving on to something different and even better.

What does all this mean to a walking blog?  It goes back to what is our vision of ourselves? Is it a life where things are lost – a goal to lose weight given up, an exercise program started and trickled down to nothing, a decades long relationship left unhealed, or just giving up the hope of being someone better one step at a time. 

Or, is ours a vision of a life where loss is acknowledged, sadness is felt and the vision of something wonderful reasserts itself and hope begins anew.  Goals are re-acknowledged and made even stronger.  We step up and realize loss makes room for something wonderful to be found.  The weight can be lost, the exercise can be started again, the relationship can be healed and we can be better, faster, stronger and awesome. We are found again!

Here are my lost and found wishes for you:
You grieve your losses and let them go; you help me celebrate the fact that I actually made it to a fifth date with one guy with a sixth date planned (he’s smart, funny, cute and really nice, too); you find something new, wonderful, exciting and different to take up room in your heart– even if it is a new Coach purse (I do love my purses – they are remarkable healing tools); you realize that letting go and letting the universe, will at times, provide gifts beyond measure; you know that no matter what you’ve lost in life, someone near you loves you enough to care; you walk, run, shuffle, skip, hop, jump tall buildings and move your body – it loves to move. 

My infinite love and gratitude to you all,
Teri

PS…Thanks to Patty Russ for the idea for this blog.  She ROCKS!